Human


We live in illusion, the appearance of things, but there is a reality and we are that reality. When you understand this, you see that you are nothing, and being nothing, you are everything. —- Kalu Rinpoche


“I can’t believe I’m me.”

Those words left my seven year old mouth as I gazed at my reflection in the mirror of my elementary school bathroom. Between the ages of around 6 and 8 years old I had frequent experiences of feeling an almost psychedelic awareness of my being. I was cognizant, hyper attuned and in awe of being a limitless soul experiencing the limitations of identity and form. I obviously didn’t have that nuanced perspective or the ability to articulate my experience at that age, it was just an almost disembodied feeling of amazement and wonder where I would always repeat the words “I can’t believe I’m me.” as the world around me disappeared from my vision and I existed, momentarily, in my own hyper-dimensional sphere of awareness.

The density of the this realm soon encompassed me and that feeling was replaced with the all too human experience of ego and identity dominating my perspective. Lately though, that childhood feeling of awe and awareness has returned. In my 40 years of life, I have dived deep into maya (illusion), ingested multiple forms of psychedelics, saturated myself in alcohol and come out the other end sober AF (as they say). I am now experiencing a rebirth. One where I feel like I am straddling the fence of identity and soul. My journey is unique to me and in some ways not unique at all. My ego wants to label it, attach meaning to it and dissect it until my logical mind feels satisfied. My soul, eternal and wise, knows better. “Thoughts are real but they’re not truth.” a wise monk once said. Those words resonate in the deepest level of my being.

This feeling of awe visits me and often feels fleeting. But the fact that it has returned to me, and that the childhood memory of hyper awareness is still so intimately recalled, is such a beautiful reminder that we are all so much more than we have been led to believe. As I settle in to the day with a cup of tea and a copy of Joe Dispenza’s “Becoming Supernatural” I plan to hone my skills as a multidimensional being existing in the quantum field of limitless potential-while also thoroughly enjoying dipping my toes in the feral soup of the human experience.



 

Comments

  1. Kaline3 January 2021 at 14:59

    Wow, that's great! Getting in touch with that early consciousness is empowering and helps verify how fluid time is. đŸ’•đŸ’¥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Selené Emrys3 January 2021 at 15:42

      Yes! Thanks for reading mama ❤️❤️❤️

      Delete
    2. Marie4 January 2021 at 10:33

      Beautifully put Selene. Being so connected with the wonder of it all... it's so easy to slip out of that awareness... I once got the message "There is no time. There is only light." Sometimes I 'get that'. Others it just slips away. It's all so ineffable. I love your words and you.

      Delete
    3. Selené Emrys4 January 2021 at 11:18

      Thank you so much for reading Marie and for your beautiful insights. I love you too ❤️❤️❤️

      Delete

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