Levity

 

“And when your soul, the flame, the spark, meets with the divine fuel that is so pure and so strong, it results in immense enlightenment: the enlightenment of God. Light upon light, Noorun Alaa Noor.”

- Zain Hashm

Smack dab in the middle of my kitchen, after over a month of feeling like I was living in a fog of emotional turmoil, some part of my snapped back into alignment. I was laughing and crying and dancing and praising everything around me.

"Mom, are you doing another zoom call with a shaman in there?!" my son asked me.

No baby, I'm just having a minor awakening in the kitchen, that's all. Carry on.

Every so often, sometimes right before an eclipse in my case, the gift of Divine Perspective hits you like a flood of light. We take life SO SERIOUSLY and it is SO FLEETING. We bench mark our happiness: "After I get this and this and this done I can be happy". When the reality it is, all of life is happening RIGHT NOW.

These are things that I know in my head, but last week I felt it in my body, my whole being. My ego wanted to bottle up the feeling and keep it forever, always wanting to attach and contain and control. My soul bathed in the beauty of the moment. Thank God. I mean, really really really Thank God. These times we are in are not for the faint of heart and it is not calming down any time soon (you still eating up the narrative that the governments are feeding us? Look deeper), and it is moments like this that I'm like "Ok, YES! I got this. I incarnated here for a reason." I let the feeling run through my whole being. Upgrading me and aligning me and fortifying me for what's to come. But there goes my ego again, focusing on the future, or fretting about the past..it takes the juxtaposition of discipline and total surrender to be in the now. I'll take every fleeting, sacred crumb I am given.

"Remembering I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything-all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure-these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are oging to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

Pema Chodron

Do you ever pick up a book that feels like an answered prayer? Like an instruction manual to navigate the exact moment you are in. "Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change was that book for me last week. It is stunningly simple, as all Buddhist teachings are, but not easy. She lovingly lays out a way to free ourselves from mental slavery and dedicate our lives to service and radical presence and acceptance of what is. I keep coming back to it and pouring over the wisdom in its pages.

I have clean water, a home, a family, good food, sweet kitties, a sacred space, a healthy child. My blessings are overflowing. The time for movement and change is upon me. I ask how I can be of service, what I can do for work that aligns with my dharma and soul song? I breathe through my ego's story and fear around all of it and dance out any negativity. There is no growth without challenge right? And really, my better angels, my higher self gently reminds me, once again, that all I have to do is get out of my own way.

"My 'secret' to manifestation is before I put an intention out to the universe, I pull all of my energy out of it. And I ask that only God's will be done."

Maryam Hasnaa

Thank you to the few of you who read my blog, Thanks for walking with me as I journal with you. I have a radical optimism about where humanity is headed. It's going to be rocky. But I'm all in.

I love you.